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Updated: May 31, 2025
The King took his place in the royal box, having the officers of his Court around and the Count Hogginarmo by his side, upon whom His Majesty was observed to look very fiercely; the fact is, royal spies had told the monarch of Hogginarmo's behaviour, his proposals to Rosalba, and his offer to fight for the crown.
When the KING heard of the QUEEN'S arrival, you may think how he rushed out of his breakfast-room to hand her Majesty off her Lion! The Lions were grown as fat as pigs now, having had Hogginarmo and all those beef-eaters, and were so tame, anybody might pat them. He flung his arms round the forest monarch; he hugged him, and laughed and cried for joy.
They licked her pretty feet, they nuzzled their noses in her lap, they moo'd, they seemed to say, 'Dear, dear sister don't you recollect your brothers in the forest? And she put her pretty white arms round their tawny necks, and kissed them. King Padella was immensely astonished. The Count Hogginarmo was extremely disgusted. 'Pooh! the Count cried.
The King took his place in the royal box, having the officers of his Court around and the Count Hogginarmo by his side, upon whom his Majesty was observed to look very fiercely: the fact is, royal spies had told the monarch of Hogginarmo's behavior, his proposals to Rosalba, and his offer to fight for the crown.
The haughty Hogginarmo laid down his opera-glass, and looked scowling round at the King and his attendants. "Touch me not, dogs!" he said, "or by St. Nicholas the Elder, I will gore you! Your Majesty thinks Hogginarmo is afraid? No, not of a hundred thousand lions! Follow me down into the circus, King Padella, and match thyself against one of yon brutes. Thou darest not.
He knelt down before her and said, 'Madam and liege lady! it becomes the great nobles of the Crimean realm to show every outward sign of respect to the wearer of the Crown, whoever that may be. We testify to our own nobility in acknowledging yours. The bold Hogginarmo bends the knee to the first of the aristocracy of his country.
Deign to be mine, and I swear to bring to your bridal table the head of King Padella, the eyes and nose of his son Prince Bulbo, the right hand and ears of the usurping Sovereign of Paflagonia, which country shall thenceforth be an appanage to your to OUR Crown! Say yes; Hogginarmo is not accustomed to be denied.
"Get a horse-van!" he said to his grooms, "clap the hussy into it, and send her, with my compliments, to his Majesty King Padella." Along with his lovely prisoner, Hogginarmo sent a letter full of servile compliments and loathsome flatteries to King Padella, for whose life, and that of his royal family, the HYPOCRITICAL HUMBUG pretended to offer the most fulsome prayers.
Rosalba said, 'The bold Count of Hogginarmo was uncommonly kind. But she felt afraid of him, even while he was kneeling, and his eyes scowled at her from between his whiskers, which grew up to them. 'The first Count of the Empire, madam, he went on, 'salutes the Sovereign. The Prince addresses himself to the not more noble lady!
All the world shall hear of my rage; and you, madam, you above all shall rue it! And kicking the two negroes before him, he rushed away, his whiskers streaming in the wind. Her Majesty's Privy Council was in a dreadful panic when they saw Hogginarmo issue from the royal presence in such a towering rage, making footballs of the poor negroes a panic which the events justified.
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