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Updated: May 11, 2025
But when you're looking fur tests of character, son, don't let that one hide away from you. I'd play that fur the heftiest moral courage I've ever showed, anyway. "The third day it was gone and a lemon pie was there, all with nice kind of brownish snow on top. I was on my way out then, pushin' the mule.
"By George, I bet that animal weighs every ounce of thirty pounds," he exclaimed. "Then it's the heftiest bobcat I've ever heard about," said Phil. "Well, let's get back to bed again," yawned Dick. "I was sleeping like a log when I thought the whole shack had been pulled in about my ears. Good thing I woke up though.
And he seemed to like my appeerance pretty well, though I am fur from bein' the one that ort to say it. And as we rolled on over the broad beautiful road towards Saratoga Lake, I begun to feel better in my mind. The Deacon wuz edifyin' in conversation, and he thought, and said, "that my mind was the heftiest one that he had ever met, and he had met hundreds and hundreds of 'em."
Lew Wetzel is the heftiest of 'em all, an' we hev some as kin fight out here. I was down the river a few years ago and joined a party to go out an' hunt up some redskins as had been reported. Wetzel was with us. We soon struck Injun sign, and then come on to a lot of the pesky varmints. We was all fer goin' home, because we had a small force.
"Boys," he would say, "a man can't do more than a thousand things at once. A man can't talk a steady stream and do himself justice, and settle the heftiest kind of questions, and say the kind of things these ladies ought to have said to 'em, and then measure out molasses and weigh coffee and slash off calico dresses and trade for eggs.
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