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Updated: May 11, 2025
I just declare it's an outrage on the rights of a plain old family chills-and-fever doctor, for a lot of you folks to be havin' these here sneakin' nerve and brain things that calomel an' quinine can't O! here's Johanna." On his way through town again, with the black maid beside him in his battered top buggy, he paused at the Tombses' gate, hailed by the fond old Parson. "You haven't got her?
That would unquestionably have been the end of Bob Yancy when he was shot out into the muddy waters of the Elk River, had not Mr. Richard Keppel Cavendish, variously known as Long-Legged Dick, and Chills-and-Fever Cavendish, of Lincoln County, in the state of Tennessee, some months previously and after unprecedented mental effort on his part, decided that Lincoln County was no place for him.
Practically the only disease due to animal germs, which is sufficiently common in temperate or even subtropical regions to be of interest to us, is malaria, better known perhaps as ague, or "chills-and-fever." This disease has always been associated with swamps and damp marshy places and the fogs and mists that rise from them; indeed its name, mal-aria, is simply the Italian words for "bad air."
"How'd you sleep, Sam?" "Didn't sleep a durn bit." "Neither did I. I was shivering all night. I got up an' put the spare blanket on, but it didn't do any good." "Wonder if there was a chills-and-fever fog or something?" "How'd you find it, Sappy?" "All right." "Didn't smell any fog?" "Nope." The next night it was even worse.
It is a misfortune, not a crime, to have a wife and six children, the latter all under twelve years of age. It is a still greater and no less irresponsible calamity to have them all prostrated by chills-and-fever, yet forbidden to yield to its depressing influence by the stimulus of several million healthy fleas.
It looked ornery enough to be the Birthplace of almost any successful American. The Malaria Mosquito was waiting for the Pioneers. In those good old Chills-and-Fever days, no one ever blamed it on the Female of the Species. Those who had the Shakes allowed that they were being jarred by the Hand of Providence.
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