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"Ye'll not find me defindin' th' sellin' iv dhrink to anny man annywhere. There's no wan that's as much iv a timp'rance man as a man that's been in my business f'r a year. I'd give up all th' fun I get out iv dhrinkin' men to escape th' throuble I have fr'm dhrunkards. Drink's a poison. I don't deny it. I'll admit I'm no betther thin an ordinhry doctor.
Why, we asked, shud Uncle Sam engage in this thraffic in th' souls iv men without payin' f'r a license, whin dacint citizens were puttin' up their good money a block away an' niver a soul comin' down fr'm th' fort to be thrafficked in? Did Congress pay anny attintion to us? It did not. "But wan day a comity iv ladies fr'm th' Young Ladies' Christyan Timp'rance Union wint out to th' fort.
Come to its uncle, then. O good luck to yer purty little yaller face. So it wos you stole the brandy, wos it? Musha! but ye might have know'd ye belonged to a timp'rance ship, so ye might." Jacko spread his arms on Briant's broad chest they were too short to go round his neck laid his head thereon, and sighed.
Whin th' Binivolent Assocyation iv Saloonkeepers holds its next meeting I'm goin' to propose to send dillygates to th' Young Ladies Christyan Timp'rance Union. It ought to be what th' unions call an affilyated organization." "Oh, well," said Mr. Hennessy, "they think they're doin' what's right." "An' they ar-re," said Mr. Dooley.
Twitt, to quote Scriptural thanksgiving on all necessary occasions! E's a good little chap, our parson, but 'e's that weak on his chest an' ailing that 'e's goin' away this year to Madeira for rest and warm an' a blessid old Timp'rance raskill's coming to take dooty in 'is place. Ah! none of us Weircombe folk 'ill be very reg'lar church-goers while Mr. Arbroath's here."
Continuin' to play with great dash, but always prudently, he had a sure putt iv not more thin forty feet to bate th' records f'r prisidints f'r this hole, a record that was established be th' prisident iv th' Women's Christyan Timp'rance Union in nineteen hundhred an' three. His opponent cried 'I give it to ye, an' th' prisidint was down in a brillyant twinty two. "An' there ye ar-re.
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