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Updated: May 25, 2025
As I sank down in my chair that odd feeling of uneasiness, of transience and unreality, of unsatisfaction I had had ever since we had moved suddenly became intensified, and at the very moment when I had gained everything I had once believed a man could desire!
I believe indeed that if men and women understood each other a little better they would hurt each other a good deal less. But I am persuaded that we shall not even begin to reach a wise morality so long as we persist in basing our demands on the imbecile assumption that women suffer nothing or little by the unsatisfaction of the sex side of their nature.
How lonely then must thou be! how shut up in thy poverty-stricken room, with the bare walls of thy selfishness, and the hard couch of thy unsatisfaction! I will love thee the more. Thou shalt not be alone with thyself. Thou art not me; thou art another life a second self; therefore I can, may, and will love thee."
I might, in respect of one or two of them, use a stronger word, certainly not satisfied. I believe there is a grand, essential unsatisfaction, I do not mean dissatisfaction, which adds the delight of expectation to the peace of attainment; and that, I presume, is the very consciousness of heaven.
She had lost the tranquility and the assurance which she had while in Europe. It seems to me that for some reason or other this feeling of unsatisfaction was always much greater in America than in Europe and here she was always disturbed. A heavy test to her feelings of loyalty for Russia came with the advent of the Russo-Japanese war in 1904.
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