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Updated: May 27, 2025


Yet in the spring of 1988, stung by memories of friendship and deceit in Rama's nest, I stumbled my way past the burned-out car abandoned on the charred foundation of 9514 La Jolla Farms Road. I let Nunatak lead me in the fading light through the parched chaparral. She gently tugged me back to the present. One-and-a-half miles east of campus, I opened the door of my Volkswagon Bus.

In the fall of 1980, Atmananda spoke with the Stony Brook disciples, who were still in New York, "on an inner level." He also spoke with them on the phone. He told them that Chinmoy was directing a "special force" toward our new, million-dollar Centre in La Jolla. He told them about our now legendary recruitment drive. He told them about our feasts. These disciples missed Atmananda.

He lived about a quarter of a mile from my apartment in Stony Brook. I jogged down Cedar Street and knocked on his door. "Hi, kid. Make yourself at home." He offered me a yogurt. I accepted. He told me that he was starting a Centre for Guru in La Jolla, California.

My perceptions also might have changed had I known about the "Bedroom Incident." When Atmananda first flew with Rachel to La Jolla in search of a rental, he chose a house with "good vibes" but with only four bedrooms. He told Rachel that he would take the large bedroom, that she would take the dining room and living room areas, and that they would switch.

Years before, in La Jolla, he had often suggested "Pool Therapy" as a way to douse the flames of a conflict burning within. In Malibu, as in La Jolla, my woes soon diffused among ripples from the impact of one hand slapping. I played in the shallow end during that LSD trip until Rama asked Sal, who was not tripping, to drive me home.

"It also retains and transmits the greed of its handlers. Always wash your hands after you touch it." But he did not always ask me to collect it directly. In 1981, he asked me to inspire Richard, a tall, large-hearted disciple who owned a raquet-stringing shop in La Jolla.

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