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Updated: May 16, 2025
'Wery sorry to 'casion any personal inconwenience, ma'am, as the housebreaker said to the old lady when he put her on the fire; but as me and my governor 's only jest come to town, and is jest going away agin, it can't be helped, you see. 'Of course, the young man can't help the faults of his master, said Mrs. Cluppins, much struck by Mr. Weller's appearance and conversation.
'I'll tell you what it is, young boa-constructer, said Mr. Weller impressively; 'if you don't sleep a little less, and exercise a little more, wen you comes to be a man you'll lay yourself open to the same sort of personal inconwenience as was inflicted on the old gen'l'm'n as wore the pigtail. 'What did they do to him? inquired the fat boy, in a faltering voice.
The driver only escaped being pitched from his seat by the strap which held him to it. "Then," continued the man, "he ups with 'is pistol an' tells me to come dahn, an' dahn I toddles pretty quick. 'Sorry ter inconwenience yer, my good feller, ee says. 'Don't menshing it, I says, as perlite as you'd be with a pistol a pointing at yer 'ed. 'I want the keys er this 'ere waggin, ee says.
Ain't that wonderful grand? 'That, said Mathews with great dignity, 'is werry gratifyin' to a parent, that is. Pump the organ at a weddin'! I hopes he won't go for to do nothing to give inconwenience to the parties concerned. Where is he, old girl? 'Upstairs in bed, daddy, with the whooping-cough something horrid. 'Wot a infant! commented the groom proudly.
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