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Updated: May 11, 2025
This day you laid up a treasure in heaven." "Trouble with depositin' profits in heaven," said Scattergood, very soberly, "is that you got to wait so tarnation long to draw your int'rest." "It's a telegram from Johnnie Bones," said Scattergood Baines to his wife, Mandy, as he tore open the yellow envelope and read the brief message it contained. "Telegram!" said Mandy. "Why didn't he write?
"Had plenty of time so I thought I'd drop in and see you a minute." "Oh, yes, yes. Glad to see you." "Um-hm. Ain't so glad to see me as you was to see Martha Phipps, I guess likely. I ain't depositin' any five thousand dollars. 'Twas five thousand she just deposited, wasn't it?" The cashier was rather annoyed. He did not answer at once. His visitor repeated the question.
"Well, sir, 'twas up to Kruger an' he knocked th' ashes out iv his pipe on his vest an' says he, 'Gintlemen, he says, 'I wud like to do me best to accomydate ye, he says. 'Nawthin' short iv a severe attack iv sickness wud plaze me so much as to see long lines iv Englishmen marchin' up to th' polls an' depositin' their ballots again' me f'r prisidint, he says.
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