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Updated: May 1, 2025


There was a fire too at my lodgings that same morning; and poor Sir Christopher's low ceilings all ruined with the smoke but that would not have brought me, though I suppose we must give out that it did. No; Mr. Mallock, 'twas you, and no other. Odds-fish! I did not think I had such an accomplished liar in my service!"

Papa had said in his most jovial manner, "Hang it, nephew! when I was thy age I should have kissed two such fine girls as Do and Flo ere this, and my own flesh and blood too! Don't tell me! I should, my Lady Warrington! Odds-fish! 'tis the boy blushes, and not the girls! I think I suppose they are used to it. He, he!" "Papa!" cry the virgins.

"Odds-fish!" said he. "We had all been done, but for you, Mr. Mallock. It was three or four days after, at the least, that I had intended returning; and by that time, no doubt, our friends would have had their ambushment complete. But when your man came, all a-sweat, into my very bed-chamber, telling me to fly for my life well; there was no more to be said.

"Why, your majesty," said he boldly, "I do believe the pail would weigh heavier." "Odds-fish!" cried Charles, bursting out into laughter, "you are right, my honest fellow!" and so the merriment became general. The Royal Society was composed of men of quality with a genius for investigation, and men of learning eager for further knowledge.

Then, if he did wince a little at first, does not the old traitor deserve it; first, for his disloyal intention of punching mine anointed body black and blue with his vile foils and secondly, his atrocious complot with Will Shakspeare, a fellow as much out of date as himself, to read me to death with five acts of a historical play, or chronicle, 'being the piteous Life and Death of Richard the Second? Odds-fish, my own life is piteous enough, as I think; and my death may match it, for aught I see coming yet.

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