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Updated: May 27, 2025
Millyons iv years befure th' first white man set fut in Milwaukee th' Japs undhershtud th' mannyfacther iv patent wringers, sewin'-masheens, reapers, tillyphones, autymobills, ice-cream freezers, an' all th' other wondhers iv our boasted Westhren divilopement. "Their customs showed how highly they'd been civvylized.
No great leader iv fi-nance has turned green to see wan iv thim thryin' to do th' leap f'r life through a closed payin' teller's window. Th' fellow that with wan whack iv a hammer can convart a steer into an autymobill or can mannyfacther a pearl necklace out iv two dollars' worth iv wurruk on a slag pile, has throubled no wan. Ye're th' boy in this imergency, Hinnissy.
Hour be hour, as th' prisints ar-re delivered, th' bank rates go up. Th' Threeasury Departmint has to go on a silver basis, there bein' no goold to mannyfacther into plunks. "Inside th' house th' prisints cast a goolden gleam on th' beauchious scene. Th' happy father is seen seated at a table, dictattin' millyion-dollar checks to a stinographer.
'It is, says he, 'quite thrue that these here pellets are in many cases harmful to th' digestion, but I think it wud be goin' too far to suggest that they be abolished ontil their mannyfacther is betther undherstud be th' subjick races, he says.
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