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Updated: May 19, 2025
Miss Euphemia Grouts, daughter No. 1 who would bring her guitar. Miss Corinna Grouts, ditto No. 2 because she would sing. Mr. and Mrs. Snodgrass Mr. Snodgrass being vice-president of the grand junction march-of-intellect society. Mr. Messrs. The father to be invited because he was charming company, and the son, a dead bore, because the father would be offended if he were not. And, lastly,
He gave the weather his back, and raised himself on his elbow, the better to shield her. Within his arm she lay and cuddled to him snugly. I can describe his action no more closely than by saying that he covered her as a hen her chick. As a partridge grouts with her wings in a dusty furrow, so he worked in the powdered snow to make her a nest.
There was not one straight floor from the foundation to the roof; the ceilings were so fantastically clouded by smoke and dust, that old women might have told fortunes in them better than in grouts of tea; the dead-cold hearths showed no traces of having ever been warmed but in heaps of soot that had tumbled down the chimneys, and eddied about in little dusky whirlwinds when the doors were opened.
Oatmeal or porridge is always called "grouts"; and the Cotswold native does not talk of hoisting a ladder, but "highsting" is the term he uses. The steps of the ladder are the "rongs." Luncheon is "nuncheon." Other words in the dialect are "caddie" = to humbug; "cham" = to chew; "barken" = a homestead; and "bittle" = a mallet.
On reaching Vauxhall Bridge, the concert to commence with Madame Pasta's grand scena in "Medea," previous to the murder of the children, by Miss Corinna Grouts. 2. Nicholson's grand flute concerto in five sharps, by Mr. Frederick Snodgrass. 3. Grand aria, with variations, guitar, by Miss Euphemia Grouts. 4. Sweet Bird; accompaniment, flute obligato, Miss C. G. and Mr. F. S. and 5.
Here it was settled that the Snodgrasses should contribute four chickens and a tongue; the Bagshaws, their pigeon-pie; Wrench and son, a ham; Sir Thomas Grouts, a hamper of his own choice wine; Miss Snubbleston, a basket of fruit and pastry; Uncle John, his silver spoons, knives, and forks; and Jack Richards his charming company. And lastly came the committee for general purposes!
Though he had never till this day seen Sir Thomas, he had accidentally heard something about his former trade. "What is the difference between Lord Eldon and Sir Thomas Grouts?" Nobody could tell. "One is an ex-chancellor, the other is an ex-chandler." Everybody laughed, except the Grouts family.
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