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A bullet struck his wheel and sent the smashed wood flying. He nose-dived for his own lines and Tam glared down after him. Müller reached his aerodrome and was laughing quietly when he descended. "I met Tam," he said to his chief; "he tried to ram me at sixteen thousand feet Oh, yes. I came down, but ich habe das nicht gewollt! I did not will it!"
Ich trage unerträgliches, the quotation rose in his mind; he repeated the whole piece, one of the most perfect of the most perfect of poets; and a phrase struck him like a blow: Du, stolzes Herz, du hast es ja gewollt. Where was the pride of his heart? And he raged against himself, as a man bites on a sore tooth, in a heady sensuality of scorn.
Ursula who had followed him, recoiled aghast from him, as he sat with sunken head and body convulsively shaken, making a strange, horrible sound of tears. 'I didn't want it to be like this I didn't want it to be like this, he cried to himself. Ursula could but think of the Kaiser's: 'Ich habe as nicht gewollt. She looked almost with horror on Birkin. Suddenly he was silent.
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