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Updated: May 22, 2025
Good roads have been made but not always well kept up railways have been built, and Lisbon, once known as the dirtiest of towns, has become one of the cleanest, with fine streets, electric lighting, a splendidly managed system of electric tramways, and with funiculars and lifts to connect the higher parts of the town with its busy centre.
It is the copious chronicle, by a schoolmaster o£ endless humour and sympathy of what degree and form of "authority" it never occurred to one even to ask of his holiday excursions with his pupils, mainly on foot and with staff and knapsack, through the incomparable Switzerland of the time before the railways and the "rush," before the monster hotels, the desecrated summits, the vulgarised valleys, the circular tours, the perforating tubes, the funiculars, the hordes, the horrors.
Elizabeth cried out. "Why not?" he asked her, as he rather coolly and deliberately took his seat beside her. "You applaud telephones on the prairies; why not funiculars here?" "The one serves, the other spoils," said Elizabeth eagerly. "Serves whom? Spoils what?" The voice was cold. "All travellers are not like yourself." "I am not afraid. The Canadians will guard their heritage."
I will now glance rather more shortly at some other very good uses of the floor, the boards, the bricks, the soldiers, and the railway system that pentagram for exorcising the evil spirit of dulness from the lives of little boys and girls. And first, there is a kind of lark we call Funiculars.
No disfiguring effect whatever is produced by these mountain railways; the trains have even ceased to emit smoke since they were worked by electricity. I quite agree with those who object to "funiculars." The carriages on these are hauled up long, straight gashes in the mountain side, which have a hideous and disfiguring appearance.
The land that once exported cotton shirts and hardware now exports nothing but wisdom. You see before you, madam, a man utterly weary of the week-end riverside hotels of the Euphrates, the minstrels and pierrots on the sands of the Persian Gulf, the toboggans and funiculars of the Hindoo Koosh.
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