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Updated: May 12, 2025
The three Frenchmen sat on the edges of their chairs, watching him eagerly. "Ho, ho!" Flannery sang out at length. "Here it is! 'Insects, not crude, one quarter cent per pound and tin per cint. ad valorum. What is ad valorum, I dunno, but 't is a wonderful thing th' tariff is.
The tax on real estate is absurdly low and levied only on municipal property and on the rent, not the value. The tax on imports is specific and not ad valorum; it amounts to about 13 per cent. of estimated values. The free list is very small, nearly everything of commercial value which is imported being subject to duty.
If negroes were goods, wares, or merchandise, they came within the title of the bill; if they were not, the bill would be inconsistent: but if they are goods, wares or merchandise, the 5 per cent ad valorum, will embrace the importation; and the duty of 5 per cent is nearly equal to 10 dollars per head, so there is no occasion to add it even on the score of revenue. Mr. Work for a living?
Down with th' furrin flea, says Congress, 'protect th' poor American insect. One quarter cent per pound an' tin per cint. ad valorum for th' flea of Europe!" Mike Flannery brought his hand down on the book he held, and the three men, who had been watching him with a fascinated stare, jumped nervously.
'I move t' amend th' tariff of th' United States t' read that th' duty on insects, not crude, be one fourth of a cent per pound an' tin per cint. ad valorum, he says, 'which will give th' dog all th' crude fleas he wants, an' yit shut out th' educated flea from compytition with grand opera an' Barnum's circus. An' so 'twas voted," concluded Mike Flannery.
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