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Updated: May 1, 2025
No more did I, he says. 'Onless, he says, 'they shoot pitchforks, he says, 'they'll niver hur-rt ye, he says. 'Ye'll be onvincible, he says. 'Ye'll pro-ceed into th' harbor, he says, 'behind th' sturdy armor iv projuce, he says. 'Let ye'er watchword be "Stay on th' far-rm," an' go on to victhry, he says. 'Gin'ral, says Cap Brice, 'how can I thank ye f'r th' honor? he says.
"What do you think ought to be done with th' fruits iv victhry?" Mr. Hennessy asked. "Well," said Mr. Dooley, "if 'twas up to me, I'd eat what was r-ripe an' give what wasn't r-ripe to me inimy. An' I guess that's what Mack means." "'Tis as much as a man's life is worth these days," said Mr. Dooley, "to have a vote. Look here," he continued, diving under the bar and producing a roll of paper.
'I lave ye here, he says, 'f'r to complete th' victhry ye have so nobly begun, he says. 'F'r you, he says, 'th' wallop in th' eye fr'm th' newspaper rayporther, th' r-round robbing, an' th' sunsthroke, he says, 'f'r me th' hardship iv th' battlefield, th' late dinner, th' theayter party, an' th' sickenin' polky, he says. 'Gather, he says, 'th' fruits iv ye'er bravery, he says.
At last accounts th' followin' dispatches had been received: 'To Willum McKinley: Congratulations on ye'er noble victhry. Ar-re ye much hur-rted? "Where did ye hear all this?" asked Mr. Hennessy, in great amazement. "I r-read it," said Mr. Dooley, impressively, "in the Staats Zeitung." "I usen't to know," said Mr. Dooley, "what me frind Gin'ral Sherman meant whin he said that thing about war.
'Japan is a beautiful land, says Prince Okoko. 'May victhry perch upon ye'er banners, an' may ye hammer our old frinds an' allies fr'm Mookden to Moscow. Banzai, says he. An' they embraced. That night, in ordher to help on th' cause, Hogan bought a blue flower-pot fr'm th' Prince's collection f'r eighteen dollars.
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