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Updated: April 30, 2025
The doings of the Fenians have hitherto been sufficiently ludicrous to merit the ridicule which Artemus has added to the stock they have liberally provided for themselves. To use the periphrasis of Senator Sumner, they have hitherto been "the muscipular abortion of the parturient mountain," whatever their folly may yet lead them to effect of a more serious nature in time to come.
Regarding it as a proposition from Congress to meet the unparalleled exigencies of the present hour, it is no better than the 'muscipular abortion' sent into the world by the 'parturient mountain. But it is only when we look at the chance of good from it that this proposition is 'muscipular. Regarding it in every other aspect it is infinite, inasmuch as it makes the Constitution a well-spring of insupportable thralldom, and once more lifts the sluices of blood destined to run until it comes to the horse's bridle.
"Well, what is it Maxley! Rheumatism again?" "No, that it ain't," bellowed Maxley defiantly. "What then? Come, look sharp." "Well, then, doctor, I'll tell you. I'm sore troubled with a mouse." This malady, announced in the tone of a proclamation, and coming after so much solemn preparation, amused the party considerably, although parturient mountains had ere then produced muscipular abortions.
I have chosen a few, and but a few, flowers of rhetoric from the speech of the honorable Senator: 'Compromise of human rights, 'violating the national faith, 'dishonoring the name of there public, 'bad mutton, 'new muscipular abortion, 'a new anathema maranatha, 'abomination, 'paragon and masterpiece of ingratitude, 'abortive for all good, 'shocking to the moral sense, 'the very Koh-i-noor of blackness, 'essential uncleanliness, 'disgusting ordure, 'loathsome stench; and the men who support it, if they pass it, will be 'Harpies, 'Pontius Pilate, with Judas Iscariot on his back.
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