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Updated: May 17, 2025


The fust thing I hearn was a great hollerin fur a bottle of wine that he had in his sleigh. Wall, I took the infarnel stuff and slung it as fur as I could see and told him there want nun there." "Miss DeWolf would give you fits if she knew what you'd done," said Sorrel Top, "the wine want yourn."

Then mimicking his voice and manner, he repeated Allen's words with a strong nasal twang, "'Most time for you to give over the clock trade, I guess, for by all accounts they ain't worth havin', and most infarnel dear too; folks begin to get their eyes open. Better for you, if you'd a had your'n open, I reckon; a joke is a joke, but I consait you'll find that no joke.

"In answer, he read us a letter which he had just received from his friend, a well known resident of this city now in France. It contained a flat contradiction of the statements to which I had alluded, and drew a dark picture of the intemperance in the wine producing districts of France and Germany. In fact, it was a radical plea as Daddy would say 'agin the hull infarnel stuff."

They charged him for freightage, carage, storage, porterage, weightage, and to make their bill longer, they put in ratage and satage. "Uncle Sime writ back 'You infarnel thief, you, put in "stealage" and keep the whole on't." But I sez, "They're not all dishonest. There are good men among 'em as well as bad."

Then mimicking his voice and manner, he repeated Allen's words with a strong nasal twang, "Most time for you to give over the clock trade, I guess, for by all accounts they aint worth havin, and most infarnel dear too, folks begin to get their eyes open." Better for you, if you'd a had yourn open, I reckon, a joke is a joke, but I concait you'll find that no joke.

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