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Was you ever in the Penitentiary? State how much pork, impendin crysis, Dutch cheeze, popler suvrinty, standard poetry, children's strainers, slave code, catnip, red flannel, ancient history, pickled tomaters, old junk, perfoomery, coal ile, liberty, hoop skirt, &c., you hav on hand? But it didn't work. I got into a row at the fust house I stopt to, with some old maids.
My story opens in the classic presinks of Bostin. In the parler of a bloated aristocratic mansion on Bacon street sits a luvly young lady, whose hair is cuvered ore with the frosts of between 17 Summers. She has just sot down to the piany, and is warblin the popler ballad called "Smells of the Notion," in which she tells how, with pensiv thought, she wandered by a C beat shore.
Mister Eddyter: Our Hosea wuz down to Boston last week, and he see a cruetin Sarjunt a struttin round as popler as a hen with 1 chicking, with 2 fellers a drummin and fifin arter him like all nater, the sarjunt he thout Hosea hedn't gut his i teeth cut cos he looked a kindo's though he 'd jest cum down, so he cal'lated to hook him in, but Hosy woodn't take none o his sarse for all he hed much as 20 Rooster's tales stuck onto his hat and eenamost enuf brass a bobbin up and down on his shoulders and figureed onto his coat and trousis, let alone wut nater hed sot in his featers, to make a 6 pounder out on.
Of Birds: Hawkes, Bitters, Curlewes, Herons, Partridges, Cranes, Mallards, Wilde geese, Stocke dooues, Margaus, Blacke birds, Parrots, Pengwins. Of Fishes: Codde, Salmon, Seales, Herrings. Of Trees: Palme trees yeelding sweet wines, Cedars, Firres, Sasafras, Oake, Elme, Popler, and sundry other strange Trees to vs vnknowen.
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