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Old ladies of eighty were courted by awkward swains of ninety and more, and there was so much checker-playing in the evening and so many lights burning, and so many requests for new clothes, that the management couldn't stand it. There were heart-burnings and jealousies, too, so they had to adopt a policy of segregation." "'Hope springs eternal in the human breast," quoted Allan.

It was now growing late, and as our agitation subsided we began to be hungry. Fortunately, we had everything necessary on board, and, as it really didn't make any difference in our household economy, where we happened to be located, we had supper quite as usual. In fact, the kettle had been put on to boil during the checker-playing.

"Gentlemen of Rock River, when, in the course of human events, rumor had blow'd to my ears the history of the checker-playing of Rock River, and when I had waxed Cerro Gordo, and Claiborne, and Mower, then, when I say to my ears was borne the clash of resounding arms in Rock River, the emporium of Rock County, then did I yearn for more worlds to conquer, and behold, I buckled on my armor and I am here."

I'm not married, says I, 'but I'm as big a d n fool as any Mormon. One from four leaves three, says I, and I gathers out another leg of the table. 'We'll get home by seven, says I, 'whether it's the heavenly one or the other. May I see you home? says I, 'you sarsaparilla-drinking, checker-playing glutton for death and destruction. "We opened the door easy, and then stampeded for the front.