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Updated: April 30, 2025
And he sez firmly, "If I wuz a great-grandfather I would trim my whiskers in jest this way, that is if I wuz a goin' to set up to be fashionable and a goin' to Saratoga for my health." And I groaned kinder low to myself, and kep' hopin' that mebby they wouldn't grow very fast, or that some axident would happen to 'em, that they would get afire or sunthin'. But they didn't.
And they grew from day to day luxurient in length, but thin. And his watchful care kep' 'em from axident, and I wuz too high princepled to set fire to 'em when he wuz asleep, though sometimes, on a moonlight night, I was tempted to, sorely tempted. But I didn't, and they grew from day to day, till they wuz the curiusest lookin' patch o' whiskers that I ever see.
Pinckney came in and shewed us a musical snuff-box and we went home, and driving back Mary kicked me on the shin by axident and I pinched her and she didn't cry till we'd got home, then she began to roar and mother said it was my ungovernable temper, and I said I wished I was dead. "I shan't go to any more parties because it's always like that after them.
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