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Updated: April 30, 2025
You will never guess how it had been treated. A vicar's wife had died, and the disconsolate widower had caused a square marble tablet, with the inscription of his wife's virtues, to be actually inserted in the Very centre of our family monument: and yet you, by sitting for your portrait, hope to be handed down unmutilated to generations to come, yes, they will come, and you will be a mark for the boys to shoot peas at that is, if you remain at all in the family you may be transferred to the wench's garret, or the public-house, and have a pipe popped through the canvass into your mouth, to make you look ridiculous.
Certes, I confess that they jumble a wench's furbelows more briskly; but those more in years, being men of experience, know better where the fleas stick, and little meat and savoury is far and away rather to be chosen than much and insipid, more by token that hard trotting undoth and wearieth folk, how young soever they be, whereas easy going, though belike it bring one somewhat later to the inn, at the least carrieth him thither unfatigued.
I cannot yet believe you, said she; because, in this particular, I had rather have called you knave than fool. Provoke me not too much, said he; for, if I should as much forget myself as you have done, you'd have no more of a brother in me, than I have a sister in you. Who married you? said she: tell me that! Was it not a broken attorney in a parson's habit? Tell me truly, in the wench's hearing.
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