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Updated: June 12, 2025
So a kettledrum became the most fashionable of entertainments. People after a while forgot its origin, and gave a splendid ball by daylight, with every luxury of the season, and called it tea at five o'clock, or else paid off all their social obligations by one sweeping "tea," which cost them nothing but the lighting of the gas and the hiring of an additional waiter.
It is just then that the lighter guns join in with the roll as of a kettledrum Trommelfeuer. The enemy is throwing out his infantry, and his shrapnel is showering on to our lines in order to keep down the heads of our men to the last moment. Suddenly the whole noise eases. The enemy is casting his shrapnel and big shell farther back.
It was about a fine kettledrum all tasselled in royal fashion, with gold and silver, that Ibrahim's father had given him. Being a selfish boy, he would not allow Akbar to touch it; whereupon the Heir-to-Empire, after a brief tussle, carried off the kettledrum and beat it loudly through the palace! Kumran hearing of this was very angry, for the beating of a kettledrum is a sign of Empire.
Besides, it would be a perfect godsend to thousands of unhappy bachelors, who sigh for the realities of domesticity amidst the artificiality and rottenness of London society. Some good-natured Mayfair dame, I believe, introduced the "Kettledrum" for the especial saving of poor young men who did not know what to do with their afternoons in our arid Belgravian desert.
When the cheer ceased, Ogilvy cried, `Now, then, every man who knows how to beat a kettledrum and blow a trumpet come here.
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