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Updated: June 9, 2025
Even the facetiae of the gallant expressman who knew everybody's Christian name along the route, who rained letters, newspapers, and bundles from the top of the stage, whose legs frequently appeared in frightful proximity to the wheels, who got on and off while we were going at full speed, whose gallantry, energy, and superior knowledge of travel crushed all us other passengers to envious silence, and who just then was talking with several persons and manifestly doing something else at the same time, even this had failed to interest me.
It is true that I had been called to the Bar in my tentative youth, while I drafted documents for my betters to pull to pieces and rewrite at the Foreign Office; but I had never seen a brief, and my memories of Gaius, Justinian, Williams's "Real Property," and Austin's "Jurisprudence," were as nebulous as those of the Differential Calculus over whose facetiae I had pondered during my schooldays.
With these words he assumed a melodramatic attitude. But Mrs. Jones was not to be won by any facetiae, and walked up to him, placing her hands upon his shoulders, said: "Do you think for one moment that I will ever consent to your going off on so fearfully perilous an expedition as this?
Tembinok', Rubam, and one of the Daily Papers him we used to call 'the Facetiae Column' laboured for a while of some idea, which was at last intelligibly delivered. They feared I thought the box would cure me; whereas, without the wizard, it was useless; and when I was threatened with another cold I should do better to rely on pain- killer.
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