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Updated: May 4, 2025


I was behaderin' round wid the gangs on the 'bankmint I've taught the hoppers how to kape step an' stop screechin' whin a head-gangman comes up to me, wid about two inches av shirt-tail hanging round his neck an' a disthressful light in his oi. 'Sahib, sez he, 'there's a reg'mint an' a half av soldiers up at the junction, knockin' red cinders out av ivrything an' ivrybody!

I was behaderin' round wid the gangs on the 'bankmint I've taught the hoppers how to kape step an' stop screechin' whin a head-gangman comes up to me, wid two inches av shirt-tail hanging round his neck an' a disthressful light in his oi. "Sahib," sez he, "there's a rig'mint an' a half av soldiers up at the junction, knockin' red cinders out av ivrything an' ivrybody!

So you see Ould Ireland is not too disthressful a counthry to be divartin' ourselves in, an' we have our healths finely, glory be to God! Well, we must be shankin' off wid ourselves now to the Colquhouns', where they're wettin' a dhrop o' tay for us this mortial instant.

It is quite impossible for anything in Ireland to be done strictly on the minute, and in struggling not to be hopelessly behind time, a 'disthressful counthry' will occasionally be ahead of it.

Presently four or five voices, with extravagant brogues, were uplifted in the chorus:— “’Tis the most disthressful counthry That ever there was seen; For they’re hanging men and women too For wearin’ of the green.” There was much applause; boys from other rooms went hurrying down the corridor. The banjo-player struck upThe Road to Mandalay;” again Irving recognized Westby’s voice.

I was behaderin' round wid the gangs on the 'bankmint I've taught the hoppers how to kape step an' stop screechin' whin a head-gangman comes up to me, wid about two inches av shirt-tail hanging round his neck an' a disthressful light in his oi. 'Sahib, sez he, 'there's a reg'mint an' a half av soldiers up at the junction, knockin' red cinders out av ivrything an' ivrybody!

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