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Updated: May 27, 2025
"Cap Dhryfuss was settin' on th' window-sill, whistlin' 'Garry Owen, an' makin' faces at th' gallant corryspondint iv th' Daily Wrongs iv Man. At this point he cried out laughingly: 'I will not conthradict th' gin'ral. I will say he lies. "'Let me ask this canal iv a Jew a question, says th' corryspondint iv th' evening Rothscheeld Roaster, a Fr-rinchman be th' name iv Sol Levi.
Niver since th' war in Cubia has so manny iv these brave fellows been gathered together at th' risk iv their lives fr'm overcrowdin' th' resthrants. No wan has iver sufficiently described th' turrors iv a corryspondint's life excipt th' corryspondints thimsilves. Gin'rals an' other liars is rewarded. Th' corryspondint gets no credit. No wan will give him credit.
'What we want, he says, 'is freedom, he says; 'an', if ye think we have been in th' woods dodgin' th' savage corryspondint f'r two year, he says, 'f'r th' sake iv r-rushin' yer laundhry home, he says, ''tis no wondher, he says, 'that th' r-roads fr'm Marinette to Kalamazoo is paved with goold bricks bought be th' people iv ye'er native State, he says.
Ivrybody knows it. I r-read what Joe What's-His-Name wrote th' br-rave corryspondint. He says this feller was sick at his stummick an' retired befure th' Spanish fire. Why, what'd he have to fight but a lot iv ol' row-boats? A good swimmer with sharp teeth cud've bit his way through th' whole Spanish fleet. An' he r-run away.
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