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He is wun ov the nicest boys that ever lived, but he needs half- killin' nerely every day. All real nice boys do. Woodent give much for them if they diddent. Tel his mother He look out for him, and fetch him up in the way he shood go, if I haf to break every bone in his body. She needent worry. I no awl about boys. Thair like colts need to be well-broke before thair enny akount."
John McElroy - Si Klegg, Book 6 : Si And Shorty, With Their Boy Recruits, Enter On The Atlanta Campaign

I hire a artistic Italyun to grind fur me, payin him his vittles & close, & I spose it was them stranes which fust put a moosical taste into me. Like all furriners, he had seen better dase, havin formerly been a Kount. But he aint of much akount now, except to turn the orgin and drink Beer, of which bevrige he can hold a churnful, EASY.
Artemus Ward - The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 1: Essays, Sketches, and Letters
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