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Updated: May 6, 2025
I go down to the villige ockashunly and take a little old Rye fur the stummuck's sake, but I avoyd spiritus lickers as a ginral thing. No man evir seen me intossikated but onct, and that air happind in Pittsburg. A parsel of ornery cusses in that luvly sity bustid inter the hawl durin the nite and aboosed my wax works shaimful.
His name was Lickers, and he certainly displayed all the war-like qualities of his race. When we left Canada we expected to spend some time in England completing our training. Everybody thought that we would be handed over to a lot of crack English drill instructors, and would be placed alongside of British regular regiments so as to acquire the proper polish.
Its drefful stuff a sort of lickwid litenin, gut up under the personal supervishun of the devil tears men's inards all to peaces and makes their noses blossum as the Lobster. Shun it as you would a wild hyeny with a firebrand tied to his tale, and while you air abowt it you will do a first-rate thing for yourself and everybody abowt you by shunnin all kinds of intoxicatin lickers.
Over many a window we saw a good John Bull board with "Spirituous Liquors Sold Here" inscribed thereon in broad British characters, unlike the "Spiritual Lickers" in the miserable letters upon the signboards at Ostend. As to Valenciennes, nothing was French but the houses and Inns.
The children have appointed themselves official lickers and scrapers of the spoons and icing pans, also official guides on their auntie's walks. They regard their Aunt Dawn as a quite ridiculous but altogether delightful old thing. And Norah bless her! looks up when I come in from a romp with the Spalpeens and says: "Your cheeks are pink! Actually!
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