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Nawthin' is so fine as to see a great modhern journalist unbend fr'm his mighty task iv selectin' fr'm a bunch iv phottygrafts th' prettiest cook iv Flatbush or engineerin' with his great furrowed brain th' Topsy Fizzle compytition to trifle with some light warm-weather subjict like internaytional law or war. But men such as these can do annything.
"'Colonel Schneider, says th' witness, 'th' Austhrich, whom I will designate, f'r fear iv internaytional entanglements, merely as Colonel Schneider, says to me, he says: "Th' letther pretindin' to be fr'm me is a forgery." "How's that?" says I. "Didn't ye write an' sign it?" I says. "I did," says he. "But some wan else sint it to th' pa-apers." "'Thin 'tis clearly a forgery, says th' prisident.
Now we are going to a hotel with all the publicity we can get. Here we are." "Internaytional! Internaytional!" shouted a runner by our side. "Yes, sir; here you are, sir. Free 'bus, sir."
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