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'I do nawthin' on an empty stomach but eat, says I. 'I've had me supper, I says. 'Go 'way, says I, 'till I finish th' platform, I says. 'What's th' platform? says he.'F'r th' county con-vintion, says I. "Well, sir, he set down on a chair, an' I thought th' man was goin' to die right there on the premises with laughter.
I mind wanst whin I was an alter-nate to th' county con-vintion 'twas whin I was a power in pollytics an' th' on'y man that cud do annything with th' Bohemian vote I was settin' here wan night with a pen an' a pot iv ink befure me, thryin' to compose th' platform f'r th' nex' day, f'r I was a lithry man in a way, d'ye mind, an' I knew th' la-ads'd want a few crimps put in th' raypublicans in a ginteel style, an' 'd be sure to call on me f'r to do it.
"'I am heartily in sympathy with th' sinitor fr'm Louisyanny, says th' sinitor fr'm Virginya. 'I loathe th' tariff. Fr'm me arliest days I was brought up to look on it with pizenous hathred. At manny a con-vintion ye cud hear me whoopin' again it. But if there is such a lot iv this monsthrous iniquity passin' around, don't Virginya get none? How about th' mother iv prisidents?
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