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Behind him he heard Buck Mulligan club with his heavy bathtowel the leader shoots of ferns or grasses. Down, sir! How dare you, sir! Haines asked: Do you pay rent for this tower? Twelve quid, Buck Mulligan said. To the secretary of state for war, Stephen added over his shoulder. They halted while Haines surveyed the tower and said at last: Rather bleak in wintertime, I should say.

It's very simple, sir." "But why," I persisted, "why do this thing by a relay system? I don't want any famishing gentleman in this place to go practically unmarmaladed at breakfast because I am using the waiter to conduct preliminary negotiations with a third party in regard to a bathtowel." "But it is so very simple, sir," he repeated patiently. "You ring for the waiter or the ma "

Shem, Ham and Japhet could have dried themselves on that bathtowel, and there would still have been enough dry territory left for some of the animals not the large, woolly animals like the Siberian yak, but the small, slick, porous animals such as the armadillo and the Mexican hairless dog.

Apparently English bathtubs are constructed on the principle that every Englishman who bathes is nine feet long and about eighteen inches wide, whereas the approximate contrary is frequently the case. Draped over a chair was the biggest, widest, softest bathtowel ever made.