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Updated: May 4, 2025
There is no way of spelling it as she said it. She kept repeating it and he kept getting the wrong thing. No, she didn't want paper but "paeper" seasoning for the table salt and "paeper." The more excited she got, the more Scotch she got and the more confused he. Then, when they were both fairly hysterical, I discovered that it was pepper. Then you should have heard that Greek scold.
Once it was cauliflower. Now, I say cauliflower exactly as it is spelled but that isn't right. It is "Culliefleur," said staccato. And honey one day I wanted honey and after I had sung "Hunnie, hunnie" in high C, and he didn't understand, I went around and picked out a jar of it. "Oh," he said reproachfully, "you min hawney." A Scotch woman had a scene with him the other day over some "paeper."
He told her that it was "Pip-RR." And she said back, "Paeper." Then they argued and never once did either one of them get it "Pepper." "Paeper." "Pip-RR." "Paeper." "Pip-RR." One day I heard him laying down the law to a woman who had dared question his price of "Rust Bif." He told her what he had to pay for it in "Cash Mawney" and asked her if she could do so, to explain.
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