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Updated: May 25, 2025
He had only to say that he had lost it at cards or something of that sort, and at the same time promise solemnly not to miss a single lecture for three months on end. That would fetch the old man; and he, Kostia, was quite equal to the sacrifice. Though he really did not see what was the good for him to attend the lectures. It was perfectly hopeless.
When for the first time I felt my Stephan and my Stephane stir within me, my heart leaped for joy, and I could not find words enough to bless Heaven which at last rewarded six years of expectation; but now it is not a child I carry in bosom, it is a crime. . . ." This letter of four pages shed light, and carried conviction into the mind of Count Kostia.
My nerves are very sensitive, and let me say to you once for all, that this is the secret of all the disorders which you may observe in my poor machine." "No, Count Kostia, this is not your secret!" I was tempted to answer. "It is not your nerves which torment you.
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