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Updated: May 24, 2025
On my reputation as a military man, sir, I came to respect these principles from first hearing them advanced by General Cheves McDuffy Quattlebum, while in the Mexican War, which I had the honor to fight in. Yes, sir; I had the honor of fighting in that war, and have seen many a man killed!"
There's old Castle Pinckney, sir; we could keep it for a reserve, and with Generals Quattlebum and Commander, from Georgetown and Santee Swamp, we could raise an army of Palmetto regiments that would whip the Federal Government troop and gun-boat."
Here the major gave his head a significant toss, and placing his hat under his arm, thrust his hand into the inevitable pockets of his trowsers. "And as it was said of this Quattlebum that he was the greatest living politician known in his state, which, if my memory serves me, and it's not bad, was South Carolina, I make no doubt you will give great weight to the opinion.
So he commenced an analysis of nearly an hour long, and in it gave some astonishing accounts of the wonderful statesmanship of Calhoun, Butler, and Rhett, tapering down with a perfect fire-and-thunder account of the military exploits of General Quattlebum and Captain Blanding.
Every orator mounted the rostrum, like a mountebank at a fair, to proclaim the virtues of his private panacea for the morbid Commonwealth, and, as was natural in young students of political therapeutics, fancied that he saw symptoms of the dread malady of Disunion in a simple eruption of Jethro Furber at a convention of the Catawampusville Come-outers, or of Pyrophagus Quattlebum at a training of the Palmetto Plug-Uglies, neither of which was skin-deep.
In truth, sir, you must know that this General Quattlebum was so well thought of in his state, that she would make no exception to his greatness, not even for so great a general as Pringle, Allston Commander, who rose from an honest man and a blacksmith, to be a great military politician, embodying in himself all the necessary elements for dissolving the Union, so desirable an object with the people of Carolina."
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