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Updated: June 12, 2025
At last says I to myself, just as I got off the kickers, `I'll just take a bottle of the 'lixier and see how I feel after it. So I got a bottle, and poured it out, and put in some old rum, just on the top of it, to take the taste away, and then I took the can of water, but I found that there was a hole at the bottom of it, and that most of the water had leaked out.
"When I reached my boat, I recollected that I was engaged to go out to Spithead to bring on shore an officer from one of the ships lying there, so I stowed away a glass and a can of water, not forgetting the rum and 'lixier, and shoved off. I just paddled down the harbour, for I was in no hurry, and the ebb was making strong.
"`Now, ladies and gentlemen, says he, for he was a very polite sort of a chap, `here's the universal 'lixier of life; it cures all complaints, and takes a man, if he has a mind to it and has proper faith in what it will do for him, right clear away to the end of the world.
Give me back my invaluable 'lixier and cut. "`Yes, doctor, says I, going to give him the twelve bottles, `and just do you in return hand me out my twelve shillings. "`Your twelve shillings! you audacious rascal. Here's a man asks me for twelve shillings in exchange for my 'lixier, which is worth twelve pounds at least. Ladies and gentlemen, he ain't fit to be among such as you.
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