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Updated: June 8, 2025
'I believe I was deceiving myself, she went on. 'I've got so accustomed to living this sort of half life I've become almost abrutie, as you would say. I didn't realise how much I cared for him. Now I know I always adored him. 'But you were quite contented. 'Because I made myself so; because I resolved to be satisfied. But, after all, there's something in what he says, Landi.
She described herself as in a state of nervous muddle, exhausted, blinded, abrutie, with the rehearsals of the forthcoming piece the first night was close at hand, and it was going to be of a vileness: they would all see! but there was no correspondence between this account of the matter and her present bravery of mood.
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