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Updated: May 16, 2025
"'I assure ye, mong editor, says th' gin'ral, earnestly, 'that th' governmint will not make ye anny more ridiculous than it makes itsilf, says he. "'Me honor is satisfied, says Jools. 'Do ye'er worst, he says. "At eight o'clock th' minister iv war ar-rived, an' took command. He ordhered up twinty rig'mints iv cav'lry, tin batthries iv artillery, an' two divisions iv fut sojers.
An', be th' way, Hinnissy, if this here sociable is f'r to go on at th' prisint rate, I'm sthrong to ar-rm th' wild ar-rmy mules an' the unbridled jackasses iv th' pe-rary an' give thim a chanst to set Cuba free. Up to this time th' on'y hero kilt on th' Spanish side was a jackass that poked an ear above th' batthries at Matoonzas f'r to hear what was goin' on.
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