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Updated: May 12, 2025
"What's the matter?" asked Hiram, stirring in his turn. The Cap'n was prompt with biting reply. "One of your Smyrna 'cyclopedys of things that ain't so is open at the page headed 'idjit, with a chaw of tobacker for a book-mark. If the United States Government don't scoop in the whole of us for maintainin' false beacons on a dangerous coast in a storm, then I miss my cal'lations, that's all!"
I used to want to see Polly putty bad once in a while, an' used to figure that if I ever growed up to be a man, an' had money enough, I'd buy her a new pair o' shoes an' the stuff fer a dress, an' sometimes my cal'lations went as fur 's a gold breastpin; but I never wanted to see none o' the rest on 'em, an' fer that matter, I never did.
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