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Updated: November 21, 2024
You appear, malefactor, to have committed crimes and of all these you have been proved guilty by the ingenious arrangement invoked by the learned recorder of my spoken word which render you liable to hanging, slicing, pressing, boiling, roasting, grilling, freezing, vatting, racking, twisting, drawing, compressing, inflating, rending, spiking, gouging, limb-tying, piecemeal-pruning and a variety of less tersely describable discomforts with which the time of this court need not be taken up.
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