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So at this time of ye which I you tell, ye Divell, walking upon ye earth with evill purpose, became finally overcome by ye gracious desire to give an alms; but nony alms had ye Divell to give, sith it is wisely ordained that ye Divell's offices shall be confined to his domain.
Their names wuz Algernon and Guenivere Piddock, but they called 'em Nony and Neny which wuz, indeed, a comfort to bystanders. Folks ort to be careful what names they put onto their children; yes, indeed. Neny wuz a very beautiful, good-appearin' young girl, and acted as if she would have had good sense, and considerable of it, if she hadn't been afraid to say her soul wuz her own.
And Nony Piddock said, "It sickened a man to see so much vain orniment." And the Twin said, "It wuz perfectly beautiful to see it." And the rest of the boarders bein' agreed jest about as well on't, we set out for the Agricultural Hall in pretty good sperits. Wall, truly did Nony say that the orniments wuz impressive and overwhelmin'.
And then I spoke of that silver woman how beautiful and noble an appearance she made, in the spear she ort to be in, a-representin' Justice. And Nony said, "She wuz too soft." Sez he, "It is with her as it is with all other wimmen men have to stand in front of her with guns to keep her together, to keep her solid."
Even Nony Piddock seemed to sort of onbend a little, and moisten up with the dew of charity his arid desert of idees a little mite, when he wuz around. And occasionally, when the bacheldor, whose name wuz Mr. Freeman, when he would, half in fun and half in earnest, answer Nony's weary and bitter remarks, once in a while even that aged youth would seem to be ashamed of himself, and his own idees.
She wanted a companion, and he loves to converse, Heaven knows; and he is sure of one thing he's almost certain, or as certain as we can be of anything in this life, that he will have the best pancakes that hands can make or spoons stir up. I learnt also from her letter Miss Bolster's, knee Plankses that Nony Piddock wuz a-goin into the ministery.
But Nony wuz cold and haughty. He sot right by me on the north side, Josiah Allen sot on my south. And I fairly felt chilly on that side sometimes, almost goose pimples, that young man child felt so cold and bitter towards the world and us, and so sort o' patronizin'.
Even Nony acted a trifle less bitter and austeer when he heard the news, and made the remark, "That he hoped that he would be happy." But there wuz a dark and shudderin' oncertainty and onbelief in his cold eyes as he said that "Hope" that wuz dretful deprestin' to me not to Mr. Freeman; no, that blessed creeter wuz too happy to be affected by such glacial congratulations as Nony Piddock's.
Then returned ye Divell unto his pit of fire; and since that day, whereupon befell this thing of which I speak, ye Divell hath had nony taile at all, as you that hath seene ye same shall truly testify.
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