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'I'm surprised a man iv ye'er intilligence 'd thry to dhrag in exthranyous matther, whin th' honor iv th' ar-rmy is at stake. Gin'ral Merceer, stand beside this witness. Now both speak at wanst! Annybody else that has annything to say, lave him say it now, so it won't be heard.
Gin'ral Merceer raised his damp face, an' blew a kiss to a former minister at wan iv th' windows, an' resumed his tistimony." "'It was about this time or some years later, continues Gin'ral Merceer, 'that I received ividince iv th' Cap's guilt. I made it mesilf. In th' first place he was in Paris at th' time, in th' sicond place he was in London.
But th' thrainin' iv a sojer makes wan cautious. I determined to fortify mesilf with ividince. I put spies on this man, this perfiejous wretch, an' discovered nawthin'. I was paralyzed. An officer iv th' Fr-rinch ar-rmy, an' nawthin' suspicyous about him! Damnable! I was with difficulty resthrained fr'm killin' him. Th' whole wurruld is lookin' at me, at me, Bill Merceer.
Gin'ral Merceer will raysume his tistimony. He was speakin' of th' game iv goluf. "'Perhaps I'd betther sing it, says th' gin'ral. "'I'll play an accompanymint f'r ye on th' flute, says th' prisident iv th' coort. 'While Gin'ral Merceer is proceedin' with his remarks, call Colonel Pat th' Clam, who is sick an' can't come.
'I'd hate to insure again burglars th' naytional honor that was guarded be that ol' gazabo, says I, indicatin' Merceer with th' toe iv me boot. "'That's wan point. They's another, mong colonel. Ye're all afraid. That's th' truth iv th' matther. Ye're like a lot iv ol' women that thinks ivry time th' shutter creaks burglars is goin' to break into th' house.
'Didn't ye ask to be called here? "'No, says Bertillon, 'an' ye didn't ask me, ayther. I come. Ye said jus' now, Why do I believe th' Cap's guilty? I will show ye. In th' spring iv ninety-five or th' fall iv sixty-eight, I disraymimber which, Gin'ral Merceer' "'Ye lie, says Gin'ral Merceer, coldly.
In th' mane time we will call upon Gin'ral Merceer, that gallant man, to tell us th' sthory iv his life. "'I obey, mon colonel, says Gin'ral Merceer, kissin' th' coort. 'Not to begin too far back, an' to make a long sthory short, I am an honest man, an' th' son iv an honest man. I admit it. "'Good, says th' prisident. "'I says to mesilf thin, "This man is a thraitor."
I know more thin most iv thim la-ads down below; f'r I can't undherstand a wurrud ye say, so I'm onable, I says, 'f'r to make mistakes. I won't give anny tistimony, because 'twud be out iv place in this sacred timple devoted to th' practice iv orathry, I says; 'but I can make as good a speech as annywan, an' here goes. "Gin'ral Merceer 'May I ask this polluted witness wan question?
Th' gr-reatest rayspict was shown f'r th' former chief magistrate iv th' raypublic. No wan shot at him. He was white with rage. 'Th' honor iv Fr-rance is at stake, he says. 'Our counthry lies prostrate in th' mud. I must presarve th' dignity iv me high office; but, if Gin'ral Merceer will step out into th' back yard, I'll beat his head off. I don't know annything about this accursed case.
Mong colonel, ye thraitor, describe th' conversation ye had with Colonel Schneider, th' honorable but lyin' spy or confidential envoy iv th' vin'rable Impror iv Austhrich, may th' divvle fly way with him! But mind ye, ye must mintion no names. "'I know no man more honest, says th' witness. "'Thin your acquaintance is limited to ye'ersilf, says Gin'ral Merceer.
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