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But Roodyard Kipling's pothry is aisy. Ye can skip through it while ye're atin' breakfuss an' get a c'rrect idee iv th' current news iv th' day, who won th' futball game, how Sharkey is thrainin' f'r th' fight, an' how manny votes th' pro-hybitionist got f'r gov'nor iv th' State iv Texas. No col' storage pothry f'r Kipling. Ivrything fr-resh an' up to date. All lays laid this mornin'.
Dooley, complacently. "Ye're an anti-expansionist." "If ye say that again," cried Mr. Dooley, angrily, "I'll smash in ye'er head." "What d'ye think iv th' war?" Mr. Hennessy asked. "I think I want to go out an' apologize to Shafter," said Mr. Dooley. "I'm like ivrybody else, be hivins, I thought war was like shootin' glass balls. I niver thought iv th' glass balls thrainin' a dinnymite gun on me.
Boys ar-re ye with me?" "That's at wan colledge-Th' Colledge iv Speechless Thought. Thin there's th' Colledge iv Thoughtless Speech, where th' la-ad is larned that th' best thing that can happen to annywan is to be prisident iv a railroad consolidation. Th' head iv this colledge believes in thrainin' young men f'r th' civic ideel, Father Kelly tells me.
They'se been times, perhaps But lave that go. Is there somethin' in th' air or is it in oursilves that makes th' childher nowadays turn out to curse th' lives iv thim that give thim life? It may be in th' thrainin'. Whin I was a kid, they were brought up to love, honor, an' respect th' ol' folks, that their days might be long in th' land. Amen.
A brave gossoon in th' Sivinth Artill'ry did partic'larly effective wurruk, hur-rlin' a plate iv scrambled eggs acrost th' sthreet without spillin' a dhrop, an' is now thrainin' a pie like mother used to make on th' first windy iv th' sicond flure. It is reported that th' minister iv war at four o'clock to-morrow mornin' will dhrop a bundle iv copies iv Jools' paper through th' chimbley.
"'I'm afther charmin' a burd out iv a three; 'tis a way I have, says I, shovin' in a fresh cartridge from my waistcoat pocket, fair an' aisy, an' kapin' me back to the haystack. "'Was it you kilt the jackdaw? says he. "''Twas meself, says I, 'that did it, says I. "'An' ye carry a murdherin' thing like that in a paceful counthry, says he. ''Tis yer American thrainin' says he, sneerin'.
Whin Andhrew Carnagie quit, ye wint on wurrukin'; if ye quit wurruk, he'll have to come back. P'raps that's th' reason th' wurrukin' man don't get more iv thim little pictures iv a buffalo in his pay envelope iv a Saturdah night. If he got more money he wud do less wurruk. He has to be kept in thrainin'.
But th' thrainin' iv a sojer makes wan cautious. I determined to fortify mesilf with ividince. I put spies on this man, this perfiejous wretch, an' discovered nawthin'. I was paralyzed. An officer iv th' Fr-rinch ar-rmy, an' nawthin' suspicyous about him! Damnable! I was with difficulty resthrained fr'm killin' him. Th' whole wurruld is lookin' at me, at me, Bill Merceer.
I don't care what ye larn thim so long as 'tis onpleasant to thim. 'Tis thrainin' they need, Hinnissy. That's all.
"Did ye blow a farmer's brains out in th' famine fur a pint ov milk?" "It's a lie!" Jamie said, indignantly. "Well, me bhoy, there must b' quite a wheen, thrainin' fur me belt in Anthrim!" "There's something in that, Hughie!" "Aye, somethin' Hughie Thornton didn't put in it!" We youngsters were irritated and impatient over what seemed to us useless palaver about minor details.
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