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'Cap, ye're guilty, an' ye know it, he says. 'Th' decision iv th' coort is that ye be put in a cage, an' sint to th' Divvle's own island f'r th' r-rest iv ye'er life, he says. 'Let us pro-ceed to hearin' th' tistimony, he says. 'Call all th' witnesses at wanst, he says, 'an' lave thim have it out on th' flure, he says.
I know more thin most iv thim la-ads down below; f'r I can't undherstand a wurrud ye say, so I'm onable, I says, 'f'r to make mistakes. I won't give anny tistimony, because 'twud be out iv place in this sacred timple devoted to th' practice iv orathry, I says; 'but I can make as good a speech as annywan, an' here goes. "Gin'ral Merceer 'May I ask this polluted witness wan question?
"'I wish to ask this witness wan question, says Gin'ral Merceer. 'Was it th' Robin shell or th' day befure? "'My answer to that, says th' witness, 'is decidedly, Who? "'Thin, says Gin'ral Merceer, 'all I can say is, this wretch's tistimony is all a pack iv lies. "'Hol' on there! calls a voice from th' aujience. "'What d'ye want? says th' prisident.
If 'twas an open thrile, an' ye heerd th' tistimony, an' knew th' language, an' saw th' safe afther 'twas blown open, ye'd be puzzled, an' not care a rush whether Dhry-fuss was naked in a cage or takin' tay with his uncle at th' Benny Brith Club. "I haven't made up me mind whether th' Cap done th' shootin' or not.
"Now what I want to know is where th' jury gets off. What has that collection iv pure-minded pathrites to larn fr'm this here polite discussion, where no wan is so crool as to ask what anny wan else means? Thank th' Lord, whin th' case is all over, the jury'll pitch th' tistimony out iv th' window, an' consider three questions: 'Did Lootgert look as though he'd kill his wife?
Gin'ral Merceer will raysume his tistimony. He was speakin' of th' game iv goluf. "'Perhaps I'd betther sing it, says th' gin'ral. "'I'll play an accompanymint f'r ye on th' flute, says th' prisident iv th' coort. 'While Gin'ral Merceer is proceedin' with his remarks, call Colonel Pat th' Clam, who is sick an' can't come.
"An' he's been that proud iv th' victhry that he's been a reg'lar customer f'r a week." "Annything new?" said Mr. Hennessy, who had been waiting patiently for Mr. Dooley to put down his newspaper. "I've been r-readin' th' tistimony iv th' Lootgert case," said Mr. Dooley. "What d'ye think iv it?" "I think so," said Mr. Dooley. "Think what?" "How do I know?" said Mr. Dooley.
Gin'ral Merceer raised his damp face, an' blew a kiss to a former minister at wan iv th' windows, an' resumed his tistimony." "'It was about this time or some years later, continues Gin'ral Merceer, 'that I received ividince iv th' Cap's guilt. I made it mesilf. In th' first place he was in Paris at th' time, in th' sicond place he was in London.
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