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According to the usage among us, from the time when Mr Swinton was thrust from the ministry, the parish had assembled, on the third Lord's Day of May, in the year 1665, under the big sycamore-tree at Zachariah Smylie's gable, and which has ever since been reverenced by the name of the Poopit Tree.
At the which, old Mr Dravel a genteel man he was, well read in matters of history, though somewhat over-portioned with a conceit of himself got up on the table, in one of the table-seats forenent the poopit, and made a speech suitable to the occasion; in the which he set forth what manful things had been done of old by the Greeks and the Romans for their country, and, waxing warm with his subject, he cried out with a loud voice, towards the end of the discourse, giving at the same time a stamp with his foot, "Come, then, as men and as citizens; the cry is for your altars and your God."
"This 'ere, wot the folks are all a' clicketin' about, that Miss Vancourt 'as got a party o' Lunnon fash'nables stayin' at the Manor, an' that they're comin' to church this marnin'?" "True enough!" said Frost "Don't ye see me a-settin' chairs for 'em near the poopit?
When I saw him from the poopit, I said to him "Nichol, you must turn your face towards me!" At the which, he turned round to be sure, but there he presented the same show as his back.
"Losh keep's a', Leeby; ye say that? They maun hae haen a quarrel." "I'm thinkin' we'll hae Mr. Skinner i' the poopit the morn after a'." "It may be, it may be. Ay, ay, look, Leeby, whatna bit kimmer's that wi' the twa jugs in her hand?" "Eh? Ou, it'll be Lawyer Ogilvy's servant lassieky gaen to the farm o' T'nowhead for the milk. She gangs ilka Saturday nicht. But what did ye say twa jugs?
But ye hae made it plain frae the poopit that ye hae nae supperstition aboot the first day o' the week, the whilk alane has aucht to dee wi' hiz Christians! We're no a' Jews, though there's a heap o' them upo' this side the Tweed!
They argued together; they prayed apart. Lachlan was careful to say nothing, but the congregation felt that his hand was against the minister, and Burnbrae took him to task. "Ye maunna be ower hard on him, Maister Campbell, for he's but young, and comin' on fine. He hes a hearty word for ilka body on the road, and the sicht o' his fresh young face in the poopit is a sermon itsel'."
E? He's my ain meenister." Susanna kens her Bible weel, but she's never gaed forrit." "Dr. F? I ca' him the greetin' doctor! He's aye dingin' the dust oot o' the poopit cushions, an' greetin' ower the sins o' the human race, an' eespecially o' his ain congregation. He's waur sin his last wife sickened an' slippit awa'. 'Twas a chastenin' he'd put up wi' twice afore, but he grat nane the less.
"He hes nae mair sense o' humour than an owl, and a' aye haud that a man withoot humour sudna be allowed intae a poopit. "A' hear that they have nae examination in humour at the college; it's an awfu' want, for it wud keep oot mony a dreich body. "But the meelon's naethin' tae the goat, that cowed a'thing, at the Fast tae.
"If your designs be honourable, and no doubt they are, now's your time; strike while the iron's hot. By the death of the doctor, the kirk's vacant, the town-council have the patronage; and, if ye marry Miss Lizy, my interest and influence shall not be slack in helping you into the poopit."
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