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'D'ye know that I can cross th' ocean in six days, an' won't; that if annything doesn't happen in Chiny I can larn about it in twinty-four hours if I care to know; that if ye was in Wash'nton I cud call ye up be tillyphone an ye'er wire'd be busy? I says. 'I do not, says Thomas Jefferson. 'Thin, says I, 'don't presume to advise me, I says, 'that knows these things an' manny more, I says.
'I cudden't, he says, 'I cudden't stay in Wash'nton, he says, 'with you so far away, he says, 'where I cudden't watch ye, he says. 'Ye're th' on'y man in th' wurruld I care f'r, he says, 'but mesilf. he says. 'An', he says, 'I'd fall weepin' on ye'er shoulder this minyit, he says; 'but I don't want to be disrayspectful be turnin' me back on Misther Hanna, he says.
'Don't allow ye'er frinzied American spirit to get away with ye'er manners, he says. 'Obsarve. he says, 'th' ca'm with which our brother Anglo-Saxon views th' scene, he says. 'Ah! he says, 'they're off an' be th' jumpin' George Wash'nton, I bet ye that fellow fr'm West Newton'll make that red-headed, long-legged, bread-ballasted Englishman look like thirty cints. 'Hurroo, he says.
Wash'nton, who was th' wife iv th' father iv our counthry, though childless hersilf, was about right. She looks good in th' pitchers, with a shawl ar-round her neck an' a frilled night-cap on her head. But Hogan says she had a tongue sharper thin George's soord, she insulted all his frinds, an' she was much older thin him. As f'r George, he was a case.
He knows he's fit for it. He's sthronger thin th' young lawyer they have now. People'll listen to him in Wash'nton as they do in Chicago. He says: 'I'll take it. An' thin he thinks iv th' wife an' they's no Wash'nton f'r him. His pollytical career is over. He wud niver have been constable if he hadn't marrid, but he might have been sinitor if he was a widower." "Mrs.
'Tell him, he says, 'that th' situation is just th' same as it was durin' Wash'nton's time, he says, 'on'y Wash'nton won, an' we're rapidly losin' kopjes till we soon won't have wan to sthrike a match on, he says. An' off goes th' good men. Whin they started the Boers was doin' pretty well, Hinnissy. They were fightin' Englishmen, an' that's a lawn tinnis to a rale fightin' man.
That old boy will be holdin' down his job whin there's a resignation fr'm th' supreeme coort bench at Wash'nton, says I. 'Th' first thing ye young Turks know ye'll-be gettin' a prisent fr'm ye'er sov'reign iv a necktie, says I, 'an' it won't fit ye, says I. "Well, sir, I was wrong. I knew I was wrong th' minyit I see a pitcher iv Abdul Hamid in th' pa-aper a snap-shot, mind ye!
McAdoo, he says, 'there goes up a mute prayer that th' nation as wan man, fr'm Bangor, Maine, to where rowls th' Oregon, that, he says, 'is full iv salmon, which is later put up in cans, but has th' same inthrest as all others in this question, he says, 'that, he says, 'th' descindants iv Wash'nton an', he says, 'iv Immitt, he says, 'will jine hands f'r to protect, he says, 'th' codfisheries again th' Vandal hand iv th' British line, he says.
"Well, sir, me little Chinee frind Woo must be havin' th' time iv his life in Wash'nton these warm days," said Mr. Dooley. "Who's he?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "He's th' Chinee ministher," said Mr. Dooley, "an' his business is f'r to supply fresh hand-laundhried misinformation to the sicrety iv state.
Whin me forefathers were followin' George Wash'nton an' sufferin' all th' hardships that men endure campin' out in vacation time, what were th' women doin'? They were back in Matsachoosetts milkin' th' cow, mendin' socks, followin' th' plow, plantin' corn, keepin' store, shoein' horses, an' pursooin' th' other frivvlous follies iv th' fair but fickle sect.
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