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I will hear obsarve that Mrs.Ward is a invalerble womum the partner of my goys & the shairer of my sorrers. In my absunse she watchis my interests & things with a Eagle Eye & when I return she welcums me in afectionate stile. Trooly it is with us as it was with Mr. & Mrs. INGOMER in the Play, to whit, 2 soles with but a single thawt 2 harts which beet as 1.
My frens, let us drop a tear!" "No," I said, "you must excuse me. Others may drop one if they feel like it; but as for me, I decline. The early managers of this institootion were a bad lot, and their crimes were trooly orful; but I can't sob for those who died four or five hundred years ago. If they was my own relations I couldn't.
It's gorn to a pusson I can trust to tyke keer of it, and I'm trooly thenkful " "It jest amarnts to this, miss: the biziness is too much for the missus as things is " "I wouldn't keer if my 'ealth was what it used to be, in the dyes when I 'ad Booboo." "But it ain't, and she's often said as how she'd like a young laidy to live with her and 'elp her with the shop."
Trooly Yours, Artemus Ward. You'll be glad to learn that I've made a good impression onto the mind of the lan'lord of the Green Lion tavern. He made a speech about me last night. Risin' in the bar he spoke as follers, there bein over 20 individooals present: "This North American has been a inmate of my 'ouse over two weeks, yit he hasn't made no attempt to scalp any member of my fam'ly.
"Yours trooly," muttered that worthy, as he picked up the "makin's". "Heard the news about Hicky Rogers?" he asked, while he rolled a cigarette. "Nothin', except he's a crooked little snipe," Blister answered. "Huh! that ain't news," said the boy. "They've ruled him off that's what I mean." "That don't surprise me none," Blister stated. "He's been gettin' too smart around here fur quite a while.
I have sent tickets to the village pastures and their famylis, as yu requested and they red the notises last Sunday and advised everybuddy to go. I have gut public opinion all rite for yu here, now cum on with yer panyrammer of Afriky. Yure's trooly, B. PERSIMMON, p.m.
Riley turned with sudden fervor. "Good cayre! Mr. Ristofalo," she exclaimed, lifting her free hand and touching her bosom with the points of her fingers, "ye don't know the hairt of a woman, surr! No-o-o, surr! It's love we wants! 'The hairt as has trooly loved nivver furgits, but as trooly loves ahn to the tlose!" "Yes," said the Italian; "yes," nodding and ever smiling, "dass aw righ'."
I stopt at the Washington Hotel in Liverpool, because it was named after a countryman of mine who didn't get his living by makin' mistakes, and whose mem'ry is dear to civilized peple all over the world, because he was gentle and good as well as trooly great. We read in Histry of any number of great individooals, but how few of 'em, alars! should we want to take home to supper with us!
Sez I "Marm, I'm trooly sirprized." Sez she, "git out. Yure the nicist old man Ive seen yit. Give us anuther 50!" Had a seleck assortment of the most tremenjious thunderbolts descended down onto me I couldn't hav bin more takin aback. I jumpt up, but she ceased my coat tales & in a wild voise cride, "No, Ile never desart you let us fli together to a furrin shoor!"
The black devil Disunion is trooly here, starein us all squarely in the face! We must drive him back. Shall we make a 2nd Mexico of ourselves? Shall we sell our birthrite for a mess of potash? Shall one brother put the knife to the throat of anuther brother? Shall we mix our whisky with each other's blud? Shall the star spangled Banner be cut up into dishcloths?
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