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On'y wan iv them remained on th' field. He was lyin' face down, with his nose in th' mud. 'He's kilt, says I. 'I think he is, says Dorgan, with a merry smile. 'Twas my boy Jimmy done it, too, says he. 'He'll be arrested f'r murdher, says I. 'He will not, says he. 'There's on'y wan polisman in town cud take him, an' he's down town doin' th' same f'r somebody, he says.
"A quare chap is Yorkey," he continued gently shielding a match-flame and puffing with noisy respiration "a good polisman knows th' Criminal Code from A tu Z eyah! but mighty quare. I misdoubt how th' tu av yez will get along." He sighed deeply, muttering half to himself, "I may have tu take shteps this time! . . ." A rather ominous beginning, thought George.
Thin he tells me how much he cares f'r me an' proposes to rassle me an' weeps to think how bad he threats his wife an' begs me niver to marry, f'r a bachelor's life's th' on'y wan, an' 'tis past two o'clock whin I hook him on a frindly polisman an' sind him thrippin' th' polisman down th' sthreet. All r-right so far. But in th' mornin' another story.
Thin he's got inflammathry rheumatism enough to burn a barn, an' he can't turn a page without makin' ye think he's goin' to lose a thumb. He's got wife an' childher, an' he's on in years; but he's a polisman, an' he's got to be rayformed. I tell him all I can. He didn't know where St. Pethersburg was till I tould him it was th' capital iv Sweden.
Though they mintioned th' fact that I resked death f'r me adopted fatherland, they'd make th' more intherestin' story about th' time I almost met it be fallin' down stairs while runnin' away fr'm a polisman. F'r wan page they'd print about me love iv counthry, they'd print fifty about me love iv dhrink. "Th' things thim gr-reat men done wud give thim a place in Byrnes's book.
'Th' Dutch ar-re no good because they aint good enough. No matther how they start they get th' noodle habit. I had wan, wanst, an' she got so she put noodles in me tay, I says. 'Th' Swedes ar-re all right but they always get marrid th' sicond day. Ye'll have a polisman at th' dure with a warrant f'r th' arrist iv ye'er cook if ye hire a Boheemyan, I says.
"'I'm a polisman, he says, 'an' I'm undher ordhers to be polite with citizens I stop, he says; 'but, if ye don't duck up that road in half a minyit, ye poy-faced, red-eyed, lop-eared, thick-headed ol' bosthoon, he says, 'I'll take ye be th' scruff iv th' neck an' thrun ye into th' ga-as-house tank, he says, 'if I'm coort-martialed f'r it to-morrow.
'Tis good for him he named th' hour, f'r 'tis few pedesthreens save an' except th' little kids with panneckers that most iv th' polis meet befure midnight. Look at there table, will ye? 'An ax done it, says ye? No, faith, but th' fist iv a Kerry polisman they put on this here bate last week. He done it ladin' thrumps.
"Thin me uncle Mike come in, as rough a man as iver laid hands on a polisman. Felix Dooley was makin' a speech on th' vartues iv th' fam'ly. 'Th' Dooleys, says he, 'can stand before all th' wurruld, an' no man can say ought agin ayether their honor or their integrity, says he.
Willum Joyce have come out f'r McKinley f'r Prisident, an' th' polisman on th' beat told me las' night that th' left'nant told him that 'twas time f'r a change. Th' Dimmycrats had rooned th' counthry with their free trade an' their foreign policy an' their I dinnaw what, an' 'twas high time an honest man got a crack at a down-town precinct with a faro bank or two in it.
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