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Dere's a long table sot out in de bigges' dinin'-room, and heaps and heaps ob splendiferous china dishes, wid fruits and flowahs painted onto 'em, and silverware bright as de sun, and glass dishes dat sparkle like Miss Elsie's di'mon's; and in de kitchen dey's cookin' turkeys and chickens, and wild game ob warious kinds, and oysters in warious styles; 'sides all de pastry and cakes and fruits and ices, and oh, I cayn't begin to tell yo' all de good things the captain has perwided! dere wasn't never nuffin' grander at Ion or Wiamede or de Oaks, or any ob de grand places belongin' to our fam'lies."
"A Pictur-shew," sed he, "with a swoiree between, and all the fashionables of this interestin location there." "Don't care if I duz," sed I, "perwided u go the Ticket." "Sertingly," sed he. "Mr. Ward, you are my guest for the evening." So we put on our go-to-meetings, and yaller kid-skins, and sot off. First we go up into a big room with a blaze o' lite and a crowd of cumpany.
"Yes, Massa Clare; you may tell de young gemmen dey may laff freely too," broke in Clump. "I laff freely, I know, when I first set foot on de English land. I no longer slave, I free man, and so dey may laff as much as dey likes at ole Clump, perwided dey laffs wid him.
"This here is the dodge you goes outside and lies down on the kerb-stone; whereby I spies you a-sleeping in the streets, contrary to Act o' Parliament; whereby it is my duty to take you to the station-house; whereby you gets a night's lodging free gracious for nothing, and company perwided by her Majesty." "Oh, not to the station-house!" I cried in shame and terror.
And this here most august and upper-crust cockloft is the Conscrumptive Hospital. First you begins to cough, then you proceeds to expectorate spittoons, as you see, perwided free gracious for nothing fined a kivarten if you spits on the floor
'Look at that now, for a keeper to say! Why, if he don't happen to have a snare just there, he has somewhere else, you know. Eh? Ain't old Harry right now, eh? 'Maybe. 'There, don't say I don't know nothing then. Eh? What matter who put the snare down, or the hare in, perwided he takes it up, man? If 'twas his'n he'd be all the better pleased.
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