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August 11th. I hope tom's happy; it's offel to be in love. I hope I'll never be. My hands are pretty sore pullin' weeds, but I like it; I pertend it's bad habits I'm rootin' out. Arthur's offel good: he duz all the work he can for me, and he sings for me and tells me about his uncle the Bishop. His uncle's got servants and leggin's and lots of things. Arthur's been kind of sick lately.
"And why," went on this categorical negro, "did de Lord send him down souf in de paper boat?" "Kase he couldn't hab cum in de paper boat ef de Lord hadn't a-sent him. O, bless de Lord! bless de Lord!" "And what duz he call his paper boat?" "Maria Theresa," I replied. "Maria Truss Her," cried the orator. "He calls her Maria Truss Her.
"I boun' you is, boss; I boun' you is. But you ain't seed no seetful jug like dat. Dar she sets a bellyin' out an' lookin' mighty fat an' full, an' yit she'd set dar a bellyin' out ef dere wuzzent nuthin' but win' under dat stopper. You knows dat she ain't got no aigs in her, ner no bacon, ner no grits, ner no termartusses, ner no shellotes, an' dat's 'bout all you duz know.
And then I knew that, while in Ireland and London two years had barely passed over my head, ages had gone over the region of Yann and wrecked and rotted that once familiar ship, and buried years ago the bones of the youngest of my friends, who so often sang to me of Durl and Duz or told the dragon-legends of Belzoond.
Josiah loved their looks dearly, and he sez dreamily, "What a show such a costoom would make in Jonesville; no circus ever went through there that would attract so much attention," and he added, "their idees about the sun hain't so fur out of the way. The sun duz give all the heat and light we have, and it is better to worship that than snakes and bulls."
And I sez, "Yes, that is so, the United States is doin' a great and noble work in educating and civilizing the natives, if it wuzn't for the one great mistake she is making and duz make wherever she plants her banner in a new country amongst a new people.
Wall, as I say, she means middlin' well, and would be quite agreeable if it wuzn't for a habit she has of thinkin' what she duz is a leetle better than anybody else can do, and wantin' to tell a leetle better story than anybody else can. Now she thinks she looks better than I do.
Did you notice when she wuz goin' on perfectly beautiful, about the waveless sea of married life did you notice how it took the school house down? And I wuz perfectly mortified to see you didn't weep or even clap your hands." "Wall," sez I, firmly, "when I weep or when I clap, I weep and clap on the side of truth. And I can't see things as she duz.
"Well," sez I, in a kind of a soothin' tone, "I'm real glad you've come, Arvilly; it will make the ship seem more like Jonesville, and I know what you have went through." "Well," sez she, "no other livin' woman duz unless it is you." She kep' on thinkin' of Josiah, but I waved off that idee; I meant her tribulations in the army.
Then come the Police Station, and Fire Department, and then a French Cider Press; but I didn't care nothin' about seein' that cider duz more hurt than whiskey enough sight, American or French, and it wuzn't any treat to me to see it made, or drunk up, nor the effects on it nuther. Then there wuz a large French Restaurant, one of the best-built structures on the ground. Then come right along St.
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