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An' bofe was tek out to behead dissa woman ole tem to mek to kiss her beau. "Magistrate say to highrob: 'You know me? Who eata subbah wif you sucha-sucha night? Chan Tow say, 'O yo' Excennency, I doan' know who was! Magistrate say: 'I was dissa man. I glate t'anks faw you. Awso dissa fadder-mudder-in-'aw dissa dead man. Gaw sen' me to yo' house to mek you instlument to convert dissa mudderers.
We', one tem was merchan', nem Jan Han Sun, getta lich in Kan Suh; say hisse'f: 'I getta lich; now mus' go home Tsan Ran Foo, shee my de-ah fadder-mudder-in-'aw an' my de-ah wife. So med determine to go home nex' day. "Kan Suh to Tsan Ran Foo about dousands miles distant, and dissa parts China no lailload, no canal. So dissa trivveler declude to ride in horse-carry-chair."
No one shee any horse-carry-chair-man. No one shee any Jan. No maw! "Nex' morning come fadder-mudder-in-'aw to congratchnate dissa daughter. Said, 'We vay denight, vay gnad, yo' husban' come home. Where he is dissa morning? Daughter look vay supp'ise. Said, 'When you shee my husban' come home? Parents said: 'Why, my de-ah daughter, yo' husban' pass by my daw las' night.
Dissa merchan' reach his netive sheety. Firs' he go immedinity to respec' his fadder-mudder-in-'aw, becose his fadder-mudder dead. Dey vay gnad to shee him vay denight. Dey assa him vay many quishuns; but he tole dem: 'I mus' go to my de-ah wife. I not sheen her so long tem. Nen he smi' hisse'f, an' tole horse-carry-chair-man run wif him quick to fine his de-ah wife.
"Yeh; uh-uh-coshious!" sneezes Fuey. "Nen magistrate begin craw' 'long on his stoamch inchy inchy cross flaw out daw. Nen run fas' he can towards Tsan Ran Foo. "One mont' go by, an' magistrate sit up in his high chair in his court. Befron him dissa woman an' her beau, ole cover wif mark dissa bamboo po', an' dissa fadder-mudder-in-'aw, an' dissa highrob.
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