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Why, so-an'-so-an'-so-an'-so. 'Ye don't tell me! 'Is there annything in that story about his beatin' his poor ol' aunt an' her iliven childher out iv four dollars? 'I guess that's straight. Ye can tell be th' looks iv him he's a mean man. I niver see a man with squintin' eyes an' white hair that wudden't rob a church! 'He's a cow'rd, too. Why, he r-run away at th' battle iv Manila.
"Good money-savin' scheme, ain't it?" said the Virginian. "Lettin' a freight run down one hill an' up the next as far as she'll go without steam, an' shavin' the hill down to that point." Now this was an honest engineering fact. "Better'n settin' dudes squintin' through telescopes and cypherin' over one per cent reductions," the Southerner commented. "It's common sense," assented Trampas.
"`Steaks an' marrow-bones, says Martin. "`Capital! says he. `I'm so hungry. "So he fell to work like a wolf. I niver seed a man pitch into anything like as that Natter-list did into that horseflesh. "`These are first-rate marrow-bones, says he, squintin' with one eye down the shin bone o' the hind-leg to see if it was quite empty. "`Yes, sir, they is, answered Martin, as grave as a judge.
When a young lady friend of yours is dragged off to Europe by her aunt, and sends you a stunnin' picture of herself for you to remember her by, you don't turn it face to the wall or chuck it in the ashcan, do you? Maybe two years it would be, she said, before she came back. It ain't so long to look over your shoulder at; but when you come to try squintin' ahead that far it's diff'rent.
Indeed, such was the dearth of original names that it is on record that old Ian McAllister, the first schoolmaster in the McDonald settlement, was often compelled as he flung his tawse across the room at some focussed point of mischief behind the stove, to pause even at the boiling-point of his wrath, to deliver himself of some such explanation of the case as: "Fiddlin' Archie's Archie, an' Squintin' Archie's Duncan, an' you, Black Sandy More, come up here or Ah'll smash every curse o' a McDonald in the school!"
"I expect it is," says I, squintin' at it professional, "but but just what is it supposed lo be?" And I turns inquirin' to F. Hallam. "Why," says he, "it is a study of afternoon light on a group of willows. We are not Futurists, you see; Revertists, rather. Our methods at least mine are frankly after the Barbizon school." "Yeauh!" says I, noddin' wise.
But I wasn't just a limpin', squintin' little welsher; I was something that could feel the meaning of things and the reason for them, just like you can feel 'eat and cold. Could feel and know things such as nobody can't feel or know till 'e's done with this rotten bustle of livin' and doin' things. That's what I know, Miss; that's what I found out when I died in that there 'orspital."
He reported to the Corner House girls later how it "went off." "'For phat we are about to resave, as Father Dooley says Aloysius, ye spalpane! ye have an eye open, squintin' at the tur-r-rkey! 'lit us be trooly thankful," observed Mr. Con Murphy, standing up to carve the huge, brown bird. "Kape your elbows off the table, Aloysius Roach ye air too old ter hev such bad manners.
I noticed that the top of this log had a dirty look, as if some animal had tramped about on it; an' on goin' up and squintin' at it a little closter, I seed that that guess war the right one. "I clomb the log, for it war a regular rouster, bigger than that 'n we had so much useless trouble with, and then I scrammelled along the top o' it in the direction of the brush.
"Whist, darlint, I do belave he has damaged my faygurhead. What a nose I've got! Sure I can see it mesilf without squintin'." "So you have, Barney. It's a little swelled, but never mind. We must all learn by experience, you know. So come along." "Hould on, ye spalpeen, till I git my wind!"
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